I hate needles. I really fucking hate needles.

It's been awhile since I last posted. I've been busy with a new job and haven't had that much spare time anymore(By spare time, please read: "my old job had open net access and I goofed off all day"). Thing is, I had a spare moment and decided to share with you an interesting fact about me.

I hate needles. Those of you who know me personally say: "But you have ink and piercings. Those are needles too." First off, fuck you. Fuck you long and hard. Fuck you with the rakey end of a rake. It is not the same deal. I can tell you from personal experience that you barely feel the needle used to pierce. And the sensation when getting tattooed is more like being scratched than being stabbed by a needle that is supposedly "hygenic" and "clean".

But no. It isnt so much the having the needle in my arm part that gets me. Its the blood. My blood belongs inside me. If it belonged outside me, it wouldn't be sealed away in my circulatory system, now would it?

The reason for this rant is that because of the new job I had to take a dope test. Now in the past whenever a dope test was in order, my pee(which belongs outside of me) is all that is required. But no! These bitches wanted not only me pee, but my blood and a complete physical! What, am I joining the marines or something?

I was not told about the blood part. So I get to the place and this nurse (or so she claimed) starts asking me to roll up my sleeves. Then out came the evil tool from the depths of hell. I bit my lip and looked the other way. She starts saying that my blood wont come out.

THAT'S CAUSE IT BELONGS INSIDE ME! CAN I STRESS THIS ENOUGH?!

She's loving this shit. Fucking sadist. Then she sticks me in the back of my hand and has the audacity to blame me for this, claiming I should relax.

RELAX?!

How am I supposed to relax when you are fucking stealing that which makes my body function?

How, I ask you! How?

So I looked her square in the eyes and let her have it:

"You're mean!"

Oh yeah, I said it.

So this bitch finally finished the harvesting and I could only assume she was gonna drink the stuff in order to take my wisdom and bravery (fuck you, by the way). Not statisfied with this she wants me to pee in a cup. A CUP! What is wrong with these people?

So when I give her the urine I make sure to ask her in my snidest tone of voice: "Any other bodily fluids you may require of me? Cause I can only think of one more, and I'd make you extract that one yourself."

I'm smooth like peanut butter.

She looked at me all like "Oh, I crave your cock!" and then told me to restrain myself or she'd have to call "security". Whatever the hell that means.

Finally the crazy fucker tells me to have a nice day. Thats right: Have a nice fucking day. Well, I would, sweetheart, I really would. But it's hard to have a nice day when you kick it off by getting jabbed twice and having your life esscence removed from you.

I hate needles. I really fucking hate needles.

-Sigo siendo rico, sigo siendo suave