I'm craving a bacon cheeseburger now. (and tennis just became a hell of a lot more interesting)

Thanks to Diana for the link. What can I say? It's pigs. No blanket, no bay. Just pigs. And paint. I dunno. I just dont really find this as cute as some of the readers did. Really. Aw look. It's little piggies makin' a mess. Get the camera! Better yet! Get the canvas! People will actually buy this shit!

Yeah, I know it says that the money goes to a charity of some sort. But that just reminds me of my hatred of charity. You just know that someone is wetting their beak! Those pigs would be put to better use in a sandwich. Be it in spam or bacon form. Preferably bacon. Bacon is good. And I'm pretty sure it cures cancer. Not that I actually had the experience of having cancer cured by bacon. But c'mon! It's bacon! Bacon can do no wrong! Its all crispy and tasty. Oh yes.

There was a point here somwhere.

Anyway. Charity sucks. Bacon Rules. Piggies are food. I have a newfound love of tennis. The skirts reveal tight little sports panties. And the brits call 'em "knickers" which is just adorable!

-Sigo siendo rico, sigo siendo suave

8 Things about me

• I am awesome. This is indisputable. I do awesome things. Say awesome things and am generally awesome. You should know this first and foremost. Once you internalize this fact, things will go much more smoothly between us.

• I am incredibly funny. If you do not find me amusing and funny there is something wrong with you. See your physician. My wit is timeless. I kept my babysitters in stitches and then they would try and sleep with me. Too bad they were mostly family members.

• Sexiness thy name is Julio. Not much more to it.

• I am addicted to Red Bull and Cadbury eggs. Thanks to this webcomic (and in part to my willingness to succumb to product placement) I now have a dependancy on Red Bull mostly. I go through a not very pretty Cadbury egg withdrawl when they go out of season.

• Scrubs is one of the best shows on tv, period. If you disagree, there is a very strong possibility that you may in fact be clinically retarded. Don't feel bad. You won't be ostracized by your peers too much.

• Homophobia is stupid. The way I see it, the more guys that like it in the butt, the more women left in the world for me. Besides, I have no idea how to look good. Gay guys help with that. Or not. They may be making me look incredibly foolish. There's more than one way to screw someone.

• There is but one thing I fear. My girlfriend. The best thing you can do with your life in order to live long enough to not want to live anymore is to know your limitations. If you ever commit to a serious relationship, learn this and learn it quickly: She is right and you are wrong. Always. Any deviation from this rule of thumb will evolve into an argument that will get really old, really quick like.

• I am awesome. It bears repeating.

-Sigo siendo rico, sigo siendo suave

Duck, Duck, Grey Goose

Talking to my buddy Ramon, we came up with possibly the greatest most potentially messy drinking game since beer pong.

Remember that childhood classic, duck duck goose? Add a bottle of Grey Goose(eventually as with all drinking games, one will become more flexible and allow any vodka, soon giving way to anything with alcohol in it.) Everyone starts sober, sitting in a circle. You choose whoever is going to be it first by drawing straws or whatever. That person will then proceed to play regular duck duck duck duck GREY GOOSE! The grey goose will then proceed to take a shot of vodka, spin around three times on a baseball bat and then chase the first person around. The game ends when either the alcohol does or when everyone is shit-faced passed out.


This has great potential! After an hour you wouldn't even know where you were! DughDughDugh grhey goooshe! Thump! Passed out!

I have too much time on my hands...


In other news...


What am I, Ted Koppel? Fuck the news.

-Sigo siendo rico, sigo siendo suave

Ow

Just ow. She really did a number on me this time. She'd kill me if she knew I was posting this...


But ow. Even the palms of my hands hurt. No hadouken though. Dammit!


-Sigo siendo rico, sigo siendo suave

Hadouken!

Today a strange thought came to mind. I have a friend who says that if someone can concieve some idea, it must be true somewhere. Under that notion theres a high possibility that what I am about to describe must have happened or happens somewhere at some time.

While fantasizing about rough sex with...my girlfriend... yes, my grilfriend( I don't know if she reads this shit!) I thought about hair pulling. Which I coupled in my mind with a gruff strong "get over here!" á la Scorpion. That gave way(oddly enough) to a firmly falcettoed "Toasty!" And suddenly Hadouken!

Now what if, and humor me here, there were a guy out there who got off on shouting video game battle cries and attack summons? What of the poor females he encountered? I can't imagine myself as a female getting my hair pulled to a robust "SONIC BOOM!" But at the same time, it doesn't seem like such a far fetched idea. There's already a bunch of little geeklings out there who dress up as fantasy characters (see wikipedia: cosplay) with some dressing up as characters from video games. They will shout out attack summons and try(rather bumblingly, I might add) to mimic these.

We also know of people whose kink is rather violent sex. Not so much the run of the mill sadomasochism or BDSM, but more like manhandling the female partner, males requesting to be smacked around by their lady. And to a more extreme extent, donkeypunching.

So why would it be so far fetched to think that somone would combine the two? A swift punch to the neck and bellowing out a "Shoooryuken!"? I'm gonna start producing movies like that. I'm gonna make a killing with the cosplayer hentai freaks.

-Sigo siendo rico, sigo siendo suave